all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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