WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
