in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
