Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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