with your own penis?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
