I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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