oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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