Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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