She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
