Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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