Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
