You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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