you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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