Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
