can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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