Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Girls should come with a carfax report
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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