you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
PANTIES FOUND
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
