question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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