I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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