Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Randomize
