so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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