"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
