is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
