playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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