so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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