I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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