that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
