I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
