We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
