My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
