Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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