Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
