I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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