i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
