2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
