I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It all started with a game of naked twister.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
