i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
