explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So much rum. So many feels.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
