Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
