my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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