we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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