how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
