On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
