New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
