Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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