I want to walk on stilts...naked
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
