I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
