He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
