Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
