I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
